She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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