and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
this will be a night to untag.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
