i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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