I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
