sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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