I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Dick very happy bro
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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