Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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