This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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