i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
