This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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