id be glad to
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
