Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
