Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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