She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
