PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
