I didn't shave. On purpose
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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