No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
