I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
