Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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