loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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