Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
