My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my poor anus
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
