Rock
Scissors
Fuck
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
