And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
