so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
