Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I could fuck to npr.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
