I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
