The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
