sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
