SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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