see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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