he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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