Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
