ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
