just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
