Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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