That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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