i can't believe i had my finger in that
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
