just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
