After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
