brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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