Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
