Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
