i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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