One girl and one boy is just not enough.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The struggles of a small town man whore
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
