you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
this boner is exhausting
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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