I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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