I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
