If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
