I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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