Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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