So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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