How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
