They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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