i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm getting married
To pizza
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
